1 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,266 I'll fucking kill you. 2 00:00:11,090 --> 00:00:12,276 I got you something. 3 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:14,066 Terror! Does he still hump everything? 4 00:00:14,090 --> 00:00:15,276 He does his best. 5 00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:16,866 My grandma was diagnosed with leukemia. 6 00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:18,696 I discovered a cure. 7 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:19,906 They laughed at me. 8 00:00:19,930 --> 00:00:22,156 Fuck them all. 9 00:00:22,180 --> 00:00:23,496 Heavens to Betsy! 10 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,416 What's that smell? It's soldier boy. I can smell him all over you. 11 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,836 - Where's noir? - He just disappears every afternoon. 12 00:00:28,860 --> 00:00:30,416 Won't say where he's going. Won't say shit. 13 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:31,916 - I trusted you. - Are you still butt hurt 14 00:00:31,940 --> 00:00:34,426 - about me bringing in Stan Edgar? - I thought we were friends. 15 00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:36,846 I needed a win from homelander, Edgar was it. 16 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,386 If we get the v1 first, we save Annie, we save kimiko. 17 00:00:39,410 --> 00:00:40,676 If homelander gets it, he's immortal. 18 00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:42,266 A punch like a bleeding sledgehammer 19 00:00:42,290 --> 00:00:43,936 and a taste for fucking smack. 20 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:44,896 Bombsight. 21 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,976 Enriched uranium. 22 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,476 Good luck getting out of a supe-proof cell 23 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,356 while you're bleeding out of your ass. 24 00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:51,776 The v1 wasn't here. 25 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,776 Just fucking do it already. 26 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,236 I was visited by an angel. 27 00:00:56,260 --> 00:01:01,036 Today, we commit ourselves to a divine rebranding. 28 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:02,076 I am the Messiah. 29 00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:05,246 The Democratic church of america! 30 00:01:05,270 --> 00:01:07,190 Homelander! Homelander! 31 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,586 They're up before dawn. 32 00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:14,046 They got a thousand heads of cattle to herd. 33 00:01:14,070 --> 00:01:18,006 It's hard work and strong coffee. 34 00:01:18,030 --> 00:01:20,006 Old leather saddles 35 00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:22,636 and the worn stock of a trusty Remington. 36 00:01:22,660 --> 00:01:25,636 And when the sun finally rises over the range, 37 00:01:25,660 --> 00:01:30,146 the cowboys know america is god's country 38 00:01:30,170 --> 00:01:33,226 and Americans, god's chosen people. 39 00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:36,106 So shouldn't we have our own church for Americans 40 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:39,576 with American grit and American values? 41 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,496 Founded by the greatest American of us all? 42 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,156 A true American prophet? 43 00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:48,496 Come home to the Democratic church of america. 44 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:50,746 Come home to homelander. 45 00:01:50,770 --> 00:01:53,836 Already, the campaign's aided awareness 46 00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:57,296 outpaces the norm by plus-22 points, 47 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:03,346 led by white men and women, ages 36 to 54 and 55 to 72. 48 00:02:03,370 --> 00:02:07,016 We are also seeing massive growth on the ground level. 49 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,040 Yeah? 'Cause I'm seeing massive growth myself. 50 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,236 Church attendance is up, 51 00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:19,316 and our online donation ctr is at 44%. 52 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:20,776 That's a new record. Amen. 53 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,076 Amen. 54 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:26,996 Next up is a 500 million ad blitz 55 00:02:27,020 --> 00:02:30,496 with ooh, e-blasts, print and digital. 56 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:35,626 Ain't nobody won't know about the Democratic church of america 57 00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:37,336 and its chosen prophet. 58 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:44,176 Prophets are servants. 59 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,466 Of course. 60 00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:47,176 Sir, great point. 61 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,396 We're just trying to ease people into it. 62 00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:54,856 No, no, no. We need to prepare america for my ascension. 63 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,816 We must be honest. We must be direct. 64 00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:59,696 I like "savior." 65 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,116 Or-or... lord. 66 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,906 Yes, I couldn't agree more, sir. 67 00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:06,576 Religion is not about being meek. 68 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:11,246 We should dominate the seven mountains of society, 69 00:03:11,270 --> 00:03:13,286 bring the kingdom of heaven to earth. Amen. 70 00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:16,126 - Amen. - Amen. I love all that. 71 00:03:16,150 --> 00:03:17,416 So fucking dope. 72 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:18,796 Easter is just around the corner. 73 00:03:18,820 --> 00:03:21,216 How perfect would it be for your second coming 74 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,346 to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection? 75 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:27,346 Second coming? 76 00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:31,726 Let's be clear, I am not the son of god. 77 00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:34,356 Yeah, well, of course. 78 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:38,606 Many people believe that Jesus is both god incarnate and the son. 79 00:03:38,630 --> 00:03:39,896 Well, that's just confusing. 80 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,946 I don't want my church getting involved in all... that. 81 00:03:42,970 --> 00:03:44,026 Exactly. 82 00:03:44,050 --> 00:03:48,616 Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have... 83 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:49,786 This. 84 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,966 We're gonna drag our feet because of a book? 85 00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:05,046 Not a book. 86 00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:07,466 The book. 87 00:04:07,490 --> 00:04:10,160 The homelander Bible. 88 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,210 Heavy. 89 00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:17,186 What the fuck? 90 00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:20,396 It's got the old testament, the new testament, 91 00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:24,566 and the brand new American testament, 92 00:04:24,590 --> 00:04:26,986 written by a.I. Trained on the works of pat robertson. 93 00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:32,996 See, we need to pass the torch, sir, from Jesus to you. 94 00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:37,206 Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. 95 00:04:37,230 --> 00:04:42,546 Are we really gonna rush something this important? 96 00:04:42,570 --> 00:04:46,070 - We ain't arby's, after all. - No. 97 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,540 We're the cheesecake factory. 98 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,210 Okay. 99 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,580 We'll do it your way. 100 00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:01,736 Thank you. 101 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:05,486 You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval 102 00:05:05,510 --> 00:05:08,526 is likely to generate widespread civil unrest? 103 00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:10,036 Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, 104 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:13,326 but we could use extra hands in major metros. 105 00:05:13,350 --> 00:05:15,746 Let's recall all supes stationed overseas. 106 00:05:15,770 --> 00:05:18,456 American heroes should be protecting america, 107 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,456 - not who-gives-a-fuck is tan. - Great idea. 108 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,910 - Something wrong? - Everything's peachy. 109 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:43,646 Well, I can see why they call this the city that never sleeps. 110 00:05:43,670 --> 00:05:45,760 How could you with all that racket? 111 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:49,196 - You get used to it. - You seem to have. 112 00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:50,776 City life seems to suit you. 113 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,430 I guess. 114 00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:56,826 I was surprised you called, reverend. 115 00:05:56,850 --> 00:05:58,826 Well, I was surprised you answered. 116 00:05:58,850 --> 00:06:01,746 It's been a while, and, I said things I regret. 117 00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:02,820 We both did. 118 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,716 You remember when you used to stop by the church after school? 119 00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:12,676 Use your powers to light our candles? 120 00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:14,540 I remember staying for supper. 121 00:06:15,290 --> 00:06:18,646 Man, those fish fry Fridays. 122 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,266 I never liked eating alone. 123 00:06:20,290 --> 00:06:23,840 Or were you making sure I got at least one hot square a day? 124 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,656 Reverend, is something the matter? 125 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:33,156 I'm embarrassed to bug you with all of this, but, 126 00:06:33,180 --> 00:06:35,616 the last couple of weeks have been rough. 127 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,826 We've been bleeding congregants to the Democratic church of america, 128 00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:41,480 and what folks are sticking around, they're scared. 129 00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:45,206 - Why? - 'Cause last Sunday, somebody, 130 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:48,426 melted our stained glass window of Mary. 131 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,586 Melted it? 132 00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:54,006 It was our local supe, praying mantis. 133 00:06:54,030 --> 00:06:56,846 He sprayed acid out of his butt. 134 00:06:56,870 --> 00:06:59,436 - I mean, his... his glands, his whatever. - Yeah. 135 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,686 - I know him. - It was a message. 136 00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:05,936 I called the sheriff. I called the mayor. I called half of Florida. 137 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,646 You're all I got left. 138 00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:10,986 Reverend, I don't know what I could do. 139 00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:13,576 Well, you got to be able to do something. 140 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,850 You're homelander's right hand. 141 00:07:16,930 --> 00:07:20,940 Homelander's not too keen on being challenged. 142 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,666 Why not just pay the franchise fee and join? 143 00:07:25,690 --> 00:07:27,730 Honey, we can barely afford to pay our water bill. 144 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:33,296 Besides, the Democratic church of america? 145 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,056 God does not favor one nation over another. 146 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,226 - Doesn't he, though? - No. 147 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:41,290 Name one way god's ever blessed Canada. 148 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:48,960 Just 'cause homelander tells you that the sky is red does not make it so. 149 00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:55,076 You still have that, that Jesus action figure? 150 00:07:56,220 --> 00:07:58,116 I'm surprised you remember that. 151 00:07:58,140 --> 00:08:00,206 How could I forget it? You carried it with you everywhere you went. 152 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,166 You almost wore the face off the thing. 153 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,350 Do you still carry him? 154 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,216 It's complicated. 155 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,410 No, it's... I don't think it is. 156 00:08:14,490 --> 00:08:17,426 Homelander is a... he's a great American. 157 00:08:17,450 --> 00:08:21,726 He can stop bullets, he can fly, and do amazing things. 158 00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:23,686 Those aren't miracles. 159 00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:26,250 And he is not god. 160 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:31,106 If you're the same misty Tucker gray that I taught the Bible to over fish, 161 00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:33,220 I think you know it, too. 162 00:08:48,980 --> 00:08:50,546 We ain't doing that again. 163 00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:53,176 That's what you said the last six times. 164 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,386 No, I really mean it this time. 165 00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:02,346 You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 166 00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:03,846 'Cause usually you nut. 167 00:09:07,670 --> 00:09:09,340 Were you baptized? 168 00:09:13,550 --> 00:09:15,406 Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut hill. 169 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,736 Governor sproul did the honors. 170 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,446 My family kept up appearances, of course. 171 00:09:20,470 --> 00:09:22,536 Then we never set foot in church again. 172 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,456 I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. 173 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,520 He's been getting heat to switch over to our church. 174 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,756 You think homelander might be open to going easy on him? 175 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,966 Just... give him a little more time? 176 00:09:35,990 --> 00:09:40,410 I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me. 177 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,750 So you didn't nut? 178 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:50,316 You know, this whole homelander as god shit, it's... 179 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:51,710 It's fucking ridiculous. 180 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,146 Really? You think so? 181 00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:58,116 If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? 182 00:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,616 I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. 183 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:04,196 Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, 184 00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:09,286 and then god comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. 185 00:10:09,310 --> 00:10:10,770 Fuck that. 186 00:10:11,770 --> 00:10:14,836 I guess I've been struggling with where to place 187 00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:18,336 homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the lord. 188 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,846 Okay. 189 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,386 Of course I worship homelander. 190 00:10:22,410 --> 00:10:25,516 I mean, he's always been a god to me. 191 00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:27,016 Look, I'll tell you this. 192 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,670 If there is a god... 193 00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:32,290 sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. 194 00:10:33,710 --> 00:10:35,606 - I got to go. - Where you off to? 195 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,300 I fucking hate L.A. 196 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,446 Homelander? 197 00:10:47,270 --> 00:10:48,706 Homelander? 198 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,400 Hello? 199 00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:57,570 Does homelander know you're here? 200 00:10:58,650 --> 00:10:59,886 Yeah, of course. 201 00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:03,466 Some of our church's followers generously donated their milk 202 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,136 for our savior's sustenance. 203 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:08,120 I mean, he got to get this liquid gold from somewhere, am I right? 204 00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:10,726 You need something? 205 00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:12,226 Where's homelander? 206 00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:14,396 He didn't tell you? 207 00:11:14,420 --> 00:11:16,226 Yeah, he had to fly off to L.A. 208 00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,356 Strange he didn't mention anything. 209 00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:20,776 Well, I've been real busy working for his glory, 210 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,366 so not much time for chitchat. 211 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:23,446 Of course. 212 00:11:23,470 --> 00:11:26,696 Look at us, a regular Peter and John, just bearing witness 213 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,036 and spreading the gospel. 214 00:11:28,060 --> 00:11:28,996 A real blessing. 215 00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:31,206 - Amen. A real... - Amen. 216 00:11:31,230 --> 00:11:34,876 - Blessing. - By the way, 217 00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:39,716 after our meeting, I checked in on the timeline of that homelander Bible, 218 00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:43,700 and, the printers were happy to rush it to make easter. 219 00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:47,096 Well, ain't you full of get-up-and-go. 220 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,056 Thing is, they said it wasn't a problem. 221 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:54,630 So, I wondered why you were so bent on holding it up. 222 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,726 I wasn't. 223 00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:01,196 See, I just wanted to make sure everything was just right. 224 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:05,986 Listen, if you are ever feeling any doubts, 225 00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:07,826 come to me. 226 00:12:07,850 --> 00:12:10,180 I can be a warm shoulder and a friendly ear. 227 00:12:11,350 --> 00:12:13,376 Well, bless your heart. 228 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,440 I'll do that. 229 00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:22,086 What'd you want to talk to homelander about? 230 00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:23,466 Maybe I can help. 231 00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:26,370 That is so kind of you. 232 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,120 But it wasn't important. 233 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,486 What's up? 234 00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:45,696 Got a tip from our southeast stringer. 235 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:49,536 Praying mantis raided half a dozen churches in Daytona. 236 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,350 Was one of 'em holy baptist? 237 00:12:53,310 --> 00:12:57,836 The man upstairs wants us... you... to run with it top of show. 238 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:02,046 He thinks with it being your home church and all, it'll make a strong statement. 239 00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:04,070 So I'll have Chris load the new graphics? 240 00:13:05,490 --> 00:13:06,886 I got to finish getting ready. 241 00:13:17,170 --> 00:13:19,566 Welcome to truth bomb. 242 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:22,396 Our top story tonight's a personal one. 243 00:13:22,420 --> 00:13:25,196 It's the story of my hometown church, 244 00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,196 holy baptist of Daytona. 245 00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:28,986 It was the church I grew up in. 246 00:13:29,010 --> 00:13:31,470 Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. 247 00:13:32,810 --> 00:13:33,980 But that church... 248 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:39,770 That church... 249 00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:45,610 That church... 250 00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:55,516 has become a hotbed of star lighter infestation. 251 00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:57,346 And my old pastor, 252 00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:02,396 reverend Greg dupree, has been infected 253 00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:05,760 by starlight's seditious propaganda. 254 00:14:08,590 --> 00:14:09,590 Now... 255 00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:13,906 I never told a soul this, 256 00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:19,650 but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. 257 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,690 Alone. 258 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:23,916 No. 259 00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:26,376 Nothing ever happened to me, but... 260 00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:33,676 I heard stories about his "fish fry Fridays." 261 00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:37,686 And if that ain't code for child grooming, 262 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,000 I don't know what is. 263 00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,726 How much longer 264 00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:48,276 are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches 265 00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:50,220 diddle our babies? 266 00:14:52,470 --> 00:14:54,930 Americans deserve better. 267 00:14:58,020 --> 00:15:01,900 They deserve... homelander. 268 00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:09,780 They deserve the Democratic church of america. 269 00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:26,066 Something wrong? 270 00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:27,960 Everything's peachy. 271 00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:33,576 - Would you like some knee pads? - I'm sorry? 272 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,890 You're looking at me like you want to suck my hog. 273 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,956 So I'm asking if you would like some knee pads. 274 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,626 Take it easy on the little guy. 275 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,166 He brought me Stan Edgar. 276 00:15:47,190 --> 00:15:49,416 Thank you, sir. Thank you. 277 00:16:09,710 --> 00:16:14,196 Barry gibb. B.G. There's no Bee Gees without me. 278 00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:16,026 B.g. Means the "brothers gibb." 279 00:16:16,050 --> 00:16:18,326 What, you think that falsetto makes you boss? 280 00:16:18,350 --> 00:16:21,956 I think Saturday night fever going platinum 16 times makes me boss. 281 00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:23,536 We made that album together. 282 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,876 You're nothing without me and Maurice. 283 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:27,996 Don't you dare bring Maurice into this! 284 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,756 I don't know. It feels inauthentic for Barry to move like this. 285 00:16:32,780 --> 00:16:33,910 Yeah? 286 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:37,806 In what way? 287 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:41,476 Egomaniacs like Barry are-are really just insecure. 288 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,976 I think he's threatened by Robin's talent. 289 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:48,210 So, maybe he, expresses that by doing a barrel roll instead? 290 00:16:51,550 --> 00:16:53,946 Never mind. Sorry, I broke character. I didn't mean to... 291 00:16:53,970 --> 00:16:55,816 yeah. 292 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,430 You need to apologize all right. 293 00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:01,406 For being a fucking genius. 294 00:17:01,430 --> 00:17:04,786 Are you fucking kidding me? A barrel roll? 295 00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:06,350 Holy shit. 296 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,206 It's brilliant. 297 00:17:09,230 --> 00:17:12,166 Justin, I don't know who you are, 298 00:17:12,190 --> 00:17:14,426 or where you came from, or anything about you, 299 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,676 but, my god, if you are not a fucking talent. 300 00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:18,820 - Wow, thank you. - No. 301 00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:22,136 Thank you. 302 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,886 Let's take ten, everybody. 303 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,670 All right. 304 00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:32,776 - Lay it on me, Justin. - What do you mean? 305 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,696 You're acting up there. Stop acting. 306 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,486 Stop acting. 307 00:17:37,510 --> 00:17:41,486 Don't act. Don't. 308 00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:43,730 Because I don't need an actor. 309 00:17:44,890 --> 00:17:46,286 I need Barry gibb. 310 00:17:46,310 --> 00:17:48,416 You're right, boss. I'm sorry. 311 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,336 My process has been all over the map. I just... 312 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,006 This scene hits a little close to home. 313 00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:56,676 All right, let me guess. The egomaniac we're talking about, 314 00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,216 that's someone in your life? 315 00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,466 Someone I work with. 316 00:17:59,490 --> 00:18:02,136 In my... day job. 317 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,216 All right. What are you doing? So quit. 318 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,886 There's no way this gig is more important than the fucking theater. 319 00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,226 I thought this guy was my brother, 320 00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:10,936 but he straight-up hijacked something I did and took all the credit for it. 321 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,340 All right. 322 00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:17,906 I've been trying to keep this on the d.L., but... 323 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,616 In addition to my theater work, 324 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,406 I also happen to be a massive feature director. 325 00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:24,076 Four saturn awards to prove it. 326 00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:26,826 So, I was working on this little film, I don't know, you may have heard of it, 327 00:18:26,850 --> 00:18:28,746 called dawn of the seven. 328 00:18:28,770 --> 00:18:30,770 Billion dollar gross, but who's counting. 329 00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:35,216 There was this fucking guy, the deep, 330 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:40,086 he just kept upstaging everyone with his trite, shitty improvs. 331 00:18:40,110 --> 00:18:41,806 I heard he's a real baby. 332 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:44,966 He is a Jared leto-level baby bitch. 333 00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:48,386 But you got to put people like that in their place, right? 334 00:18:48,410 --> 00:18:52,316 So, whoever is upstaging you, you fucking upstage them right back. 335 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:53,816 - Okay? - Yeah. 336 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:54,896 All right. 337 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:56,316 You got this, bubbeleh. 338 00:18:58,550 --> 00:19:01,196 Testing. Testing. Bitch. Bitch. 339 00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:02,986 - So great you're here, bro. - Alpha. Sigma. Beta. 340 00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:06,826 Yes, well, we need to meet young men where they are 341 00:19:06,850 --> 00:19:09,616 if we plan to Usher them into the fold of our lord. 342 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:10,916 Totes mcgotes. 343 00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:13,456 So, listen, you know, I've got some ideas 344 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,296 about how to take this whole church thing to the next level. 345 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:17,376 Yeah? 346 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,660 So you know how communion wafers taste like dried shit? 347 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,506 What if they were nilla wafers instead. 348 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,726 Yeah, and if you could throw in a commandment 349 00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,790 about how it's not cool to try and bone another bro's girl. 350 00:19:33,170 --> 00:19:36,026 We have that. That already exists. 351 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,146 Great minds then? 352 00:19:38,170 --> 00:19:40,236 Point is, me and homelander, we go way back. 353 00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:41,736 I know what he likes, doesn't like, 354 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,116 so you ever want to bounce some ideas back... 355 00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:45,366 don't listen to him, bro. 356 00:19:45,390 --> 00:19:47,906 Shit! 357 00:19:47,930 --> 00:19:49,116 He talks. 358 00:19:49,140 --> 00:19:51,286 - No, he does not. - He's not trying to help you. 359 00:19:51,310 --> 00:19:52,746 He's like those fish who suck on whales. 360 00:19:52,770 --> 00:19:54,626 You talking about a sucker fish? 361 00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:59,046 He latches onto every new supe... starlight, me, sage. 362 00:19:59,070 --> 00:20:02,506 He pretends he's the guy, but he's not the guy. He's a joke. 363 00:20:02,530 --> 00:20:06,556 That smell on his breath? It's because he's been clam diving, on clams. 364 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,466 What? I have not done that. 365 00:20:08,490 --> 00:20:10,846 - I have definitely never done that. - Look, if you 366 00:20:10,870 --> 00:20:14,056 really want to impress homelander, bring me onstage for easter. 367 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,396 Homelander can heal me. I'll get my voice back. 368 00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:17,960 And then, I'll fly. 369 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,816 - You know I can fly, right? - That's so fucking stupid, bro! 370 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,906 Well, now, I'm gonna have to run this by homelander, but, 371 00:20:24,930 --> 00:20:26,486 an honest to god faith healing? 372 00:20:26,510 --> 00:20:29,326 That's like a nine-point bump with pentecostals right there. 373 00:20:29,350 --> 00:20:32,310 Goddamn. 374 00:20:48,740 --> 00:20:50,556 There's my guy. 375 00:20:50,580 --> 00:20:52,460 Little pep in the step? 376 00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:58,186 Sir, I did what you said, and I upstaged that fuckhead at work. 377 00:20:58,210 --> 00:20:59,566 I'm proud of you. 378 00:20:59,590 --> 00:21:02,946 Now, that's exactly how I handled that motherfucker Paul rudd. 379 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:04,236 He's not who you think he is. 380 00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:05,696 I appreciate the help, boss. 381 00:21:07,430 --> 00:21:08,656 My god, kid. You know what? 382 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,246 Keep this between us, but you know vought studios 383 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:14,036 hung me out to dry after they shelved training a-train? 384 00:21:14,060 --> 00:21:15,666 Yeah. 385 00:21:15,690 --> 00:21:18,666 And at first, I drowned my sorrows in crack, 386 00:21:18,690 --> 00:21:22,586 nitrous, huffing glue, huffing paint, paint thinners, cough medicine, guns, 387 00:21:22,610 --> 00:21:24,126 high-risk sex, codeine. 388 00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,950 Do you ever fuck on codeine? 389 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,966 But that's not the answer. 390 00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:34,886 This play. 391 00:21:34,910 --> 00:21:36,646 It saved me. 392 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:38,306 You saved me. 393 00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:40,316 Wow. Thank you. 394 00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:43,436 No. Kid, thank you. 395 00:21:43,460 --> 00:21:45,050 'Cause I got some big news. 396 00:21:46,130 --> 00:21:47,196 We're going to Broadway. 397 00:21:47,220 --> 00:21:49,776 Yes. No more mindless studio bullshit. 398 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,496 I can finally be the artist I always dreamed of, and you... 399 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:56,206 Kid, you have no idea, but you're gonna be a fucking star. 400 00:21:56,230 --> 00:22:00,820 So, you ditch that office gig 'cause you and I, we are gonna save the world. 401 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:03,506 With our talent. 402 00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:06,336 My god. You have no idea how much this means to me! 403 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:09,450 I love you, kid. 404 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,346 You start your vocal warm-ups. 405 00:22:14,370 --> 00:22:16,476 - Yeah. - I'm gonna drop a deuce. 406 00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:18,080 Okay. 407 00:22:22,750 --> 00:22:24,816 Fucking Tony Gilroy. 408 00:22:33,350 --> 00:22:34,696 My god! 409 00:22:37,350 --> 00:22:39,020 Adam? 410 00:22:40,610 --> 00:22:42,296 Holy shit. 411 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,756 Get it out! 412 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,966 Come here. 413 00:22:55,450 --> 00:22:56,580 Closer. 414 00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:03,670 My asshole hurts so fucking much. 415 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:29,426 Hey, bro. 416 00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:32,530 Don't you fucking "hey bro" me. What the fuck is wrong with you? 417 00:23:33,700 --> 00:23:36,016 Nothing. Why? What's wrong with you? 418 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,556 I call you a "clam diver," and you send an eel to ass-murder Adam bourke? 419 00:23:39,580 --> 00:23:41,936 Did something terrible happen at your play rehearsal today? 420 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,816 Which is definitely not your job. 421 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,856 The lead producer's stepping away. They're shuttering the production. 422 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,686 He had it coming. 423 00:23:48,710 --> 00:23:51,066 Fucker didn't use my improvs in dawn of the seven. 424 00:23:51,090 --> 00:23:53,026 He believed in me, you fuckwit! 425 00:23:53,050 --> 00:23:55,946 And for what? 'Cause I fucking upstaged you with father? 426 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:58,866 Here's what gonna happen now. 427 00:23:58,890 --> 00:24:03,166 You are gonna fucking do whatever I say whenever I say it, 428 00:24:03,190 --> 00:24:06,666 or I'm gonna tell homelander you were in some pussy play, 429 00:24:06,690 --> 00:24:08,876 which is a definite conflict of interest 430 00:24:08,900 --> 00:24:11,950 since homelander outlawed the national endowment for the arts. 431 00:24:14,450 --> 00:24:17,490 You have nothing to say? Nice. 432 00:24:18,580 --> 00:24:21,016 You're really getting the hang of that meisner technique? 433 00:24:27,590 --> 00:24:30,566 Hey. Hey, buddy. 434 00:24:30,590 --> 00:24:33,866 Good boy. Good boy. 435 00:24:33,890 --> 00:24:35,486 Hi. 436 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,906 You want to fuck me? 437 00:24:39,930 --> 00:24:43,246 You want to fuck me like a good boy? 438 00:24:43,270 --> 00:24:46,126 And Americans, god's chosen people. 439 00:24:46,150 --> 00:24:48,876 So shouldn't we have our own church for Americans? 440 00:24:48,900 --> 00:24:52,086 With American grit and American values? 441 00:24:52,110 --> 00:24:56,136 Founded by the greatest American of us all? 442 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:57,306 A true American prophet? 443 00:24:59,290 --> 00:25:00,346 Hold on. 444 00:25:00,370 --> 00:25:01,886 What're you doing? 445 00:25:01,910 --> 00:25:04,596 Frenchie won't cook my steak past medium rare, 446 00:25:04,620 --> 00:25:06,726 and I like mine burnt, with ketchup. 447 00:25:06,750 --> 00:25:08,226 Okay, and why don't you tell him that? 448 00:25:08,250 --> 00:25:10,606 I have. 449 00:25:10,630 --> 00:25:15,430 Maybe we just don't like the same... Steak, you know? 450 00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:19,736 Jesus Christ. 451 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,246 Has butcher ever washed this thing? 452 00:25:22,270 --> 00:25:24,996 That thing is, like, glazed in dog semen. 453 00:25:25,020 --> 00:25:26,326 Like a come doughnut. 454 00:25:26,350 --> 00:25:29,086 Come-nut? Did I just invent a new word? 455 00:25:29,110 --> 00:25:31,796 You know what? I am gonna do us all a favor and wash this. 456 00:25:31,820 --> 00:25:35,216 Terror, your boyfriend is about to become a virgin all over again. 457 00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:36,296 Oof. 458 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:37,990 Good boy. 459 00:25:56,220 --> 00:25:57,526 The fuck is that? 460 00:25:57,550 --> 00:25:59,526 You finally building yourself a fuck-bot? 461 00:25:59,550 --> 00:26:02,656 Something me and frenchie are working on. 462 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,036 Proper preparation and planning, my son. 463 00:26:05,060 --> 00:26:06,536 None of my fucking business, got it. 464 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:08,206 Yeah, that's the one. 465 00:26:08,230 --> 00:26:10,536 - Any leads on bomb sight? - Not a damn thing. 466 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,546 Well, he's an unbreakable cunt that flies through the air. 467 00:26:12,570 --> 00:26:13,756 How hard can it be? 468 00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:16,796 Well, if it's so easy, why don't you look for him? 469 00:26:16,820 --> 00:26:19,176 I've hit every single dead end and then some. 470 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,846 How about legend? That old bastard knows everyone. 471 00:26:21,870 --> 00:26:22,926 He's in the wind. 472 00:26:22,950 --> 00:26:25,910 And if I had as much shit on vought as he did, I'd fuck off, too. 473 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:28,396 Shit. 474 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:29,726 Wait, wait, wait. 475 00:26:29,750 --> 00:26:31,106 - Oi. Terror, no! - Hey, hey, hey! 476 00:26:31,130 --> 00:26:32,726 - Get down. No, terror. Oi. - Good boy. Good boy. 477 00:26:32,750 --> 00:26:34,436 Oi, oi, oi, oi. No. 478 00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:36,736 You can't have no chocolate, mate. 479 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,550 Yeah, get your own chocolate. 480 00:26:44,140 --> 00:26:45,270 What? 481 00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:47,826 - Three Mississippi rule. - Bloody hell. 482 00:26:47,850 --> 00:26:49,576 I never thought I'd see the day. 483 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,586 It's got a fucking pubic hair on it and all. 484 00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,400 Tasty, too. 485 00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:59,086 You know what's funny? 486 00:26:59,110 --> 00:27:02,966 Here we are, parked in the middle of hell, 487 00:27:02,990 --> 00:27:06,766 and I've never slept or shit so good in my entire life. 488 00:27:06,790 --> 00:27:09,266 - What's different? - Well, like you, 489 00:27:09,290 --> 00:27:12,710 I just finally realized that I'm already dead. 490 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:20,196 And once I just gave up that stress of needing to stay alive, it's like, 491 00:27:20,220 --> 00:27:21,776 shit got easier. 492 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,826 You know, I spent my whole life 493 00:27:23,850 --> 00:27:27,246 going after soldier boy for what he did to my family. 494 00:27:27,270 --> 00:27:29,390 Yet he's immortal? 495 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,536 He's immune? 496 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,836 What kind of fucking cosmic joke is that? 497 00:27:35,860 --> 00:27:37,740 So, you tell me, butcher. 498 00:27:39,490 --> 00:27:41,256 Why should I keep going? 499 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:45,806 Well, you keep going for Monique, for Janine. 500 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:47,216 They're better off without me. 501 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,186 How can a man so smart be so fucking daft? 502 00:27:50,210 --> 00:27:51,436 They are. 503 00:27:51,460 --> 00:27:54,266 And I'm better off without them. 504 00:27:54,290 --> 00:27:58,186 Because if I thought that there was a snowball's chance in hell 505 00:27:58,210 --> 00:27:59,920 that I might see them again... 506 00:28:02,130 --> 00:28:07,770 then I might be too scared to do what you and me both need me to do. 507 00:28:28,490 --> 00:28:30,806 Bonsoir, mon toutou. 508 00:28:30,830 --> 00:28:33,056 You wonder what am I doing? 509 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:39,026 Well, first, I made kimiko the perfect French ribeye. 510 00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:42,106 You know, she loves my steak. 511 00:28:42,130 --> 00:28:46,406 And for dessert, my soufflé au chocolat. 512 00:28:46,430 --> 00:28:48,680 It's a thing of legend. 513 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,586 You know, she wants one of you. 514 00:28:57,610 --> 00:29:00,256 To... I don't know. 515 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,376 What is it that you do? 516 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,046 Eat? Sleep? Fetch. 517 00:29:06,070 --> 00:29:13,346 I throw the ball, you bring it back. 518 00:29:13,370 --> 00:29:16,146 It's a nightmare of futility. 519 00:29:16,170 --> 00:29:18,686 What would I do with one of you? 520 00:29:18,710 --> 00:29:21,436 I've killed every plant I've owned. 521 00:29:21,460 --> 00:29:23,606 I'd surely kill you, too. 522 00:29:28,260 --> 00:29:30,260 She deserves peace. 523 00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:33,810 A normal life. 524 00:29:35,230 --> 00:29:36,560 But I... 525 00:29:41,150 --> 00:29:43,820 I don't know how to give her this. 526 00:29:46,820 --> 00:29:49,216 If I even can. 527 00:29:51,490 --> 00:29:55,160 La, la, la, la. 528 00:29:58,540 --> 00:30:01,776 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Aw... 529 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,090 Fils de pute! 530 00:30:08,010 --> 00:30:10,116 I need fresh air. You want to come? 531 00:30:10,140 --> 00:30:11,236 Outside? 532 00:30:11,260 --> 00:30:12,826 No? 533 00:30:12,850 --> 00:30:14,350 Okay. 534 00:30:19,310 --> 00:30:20,996 If you and m.M. Still think... 535 00:30:21,020 --> 00:30:22,626 for fuck's sakes, Hughie, knock it off 536 00:30:22,650 --> 00:30:25,280 with this v1 shite. You're doing me fucking head in. 537 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:30,346 Oi. Terror. Cut it out. Come on. 538 00:30:30,370 --> 00:30:32,466 Now, listen, if we do find that stuff, 539 00:30:32,490 --> 00:30:35,016 we're not making any fucking vaccines out of it, all right? 540 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,846 We're not the department of fucking health. 541 00:30:36,870 --> 00:30:39,186 We burn that shit before homelander gets his paws on it, 542 00:30:39,210 --> 00:30:41,146 - and that's that. - Well, if you want to kill yourself, 543 00:30:41,170 --> 00:30:43,606 knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us? 544 00:30:43,630 --> 00:30:45,486 'Cause I'm fucking right! 545 00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:46,856 'Cause I've always been right! 546 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,106 I've been telling you lot from the fucking start 547 00:30:49,130 --> 00:30:51,736 the sky is falling, and guess what. 548 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,366 The sky fucking fell. 549 00:30:53,390 --> 00:30:56,496 - Well, you kind of helped bring it down. - Don't give me that bollocks. 550 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,996 Listen, homelander thinks he's a fucking god. 551 00:31:00,020 --> 00:31:02,746 Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killing like one, 552 00:31:02,770 --> 00:31:05,166 and we are talking millions of people. 553 00:31:05,190 --> 00:31:09,176 Now, are you telling me you're honestly happy to risk all of that 554 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,886 for a life on the run with your girl, 555 00:31:11,910 --> 00:31:15,240 knowing that you could've stopped it? 556 00:31:17,450 --> 00:31:19,160 You can live with that, can you? 557 00:31:21,540 --> 00:31:23,210 What if it was Becca? 558 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:26,460 You'd just let her die? 559 00:31:31,970 --> 00:31:33,890 I did let her die. 560 00:31:34,970 --> 00:31:36,746 Look. 561 00:31:36,770 --> 00:31:39,576 I know that homelander comes first. 562 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:40,746 I really do. 563 00:31:40,770 --> 00:31:44,190 All I'm asking is that we try. 564 00:31:45,610 --> 00:31:47,570 Annie and kimiko deserve that much. 565 00:31:50,650 --> 00:31:52,240 Oi, terror, no! 566 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:56,346 Oi, get out of there. Bloody hell. Is that chocolate? 567 00:31:56,370 --> 00:31:58,226 Isn't chocolate bad for dogs? 568 00:31:58,250 --> 00:32:00,136 For a dog this old, it's fucking lethal. Oi! 569 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,266 Frenchie, you cunt! Get me some hydrogen peroxide, would you? 570 00:32:03,290 --> 00:32:05,816 Okay, we have some in the first aid kit. Give me one second. 571 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,896 - What happened? - You poisoned me fucking dog. 572 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,696 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - What's going on? 573 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,156 Look, all you need is charcoal. 574 00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:13,526 - We should call a vet. - They're gonna tell you 575 00:32:13,550 --> 00:32:14,826 - you need charcoal. - Guys, we got this. 576 00:32:14,850 --> 00:32:16,946 - Just give us some room. - I'll hold his mouth open, you pour. 577 00:32:16,970 --> 00:32:20,036 Right? On the count of three. One, two, three. 578 00:32:20,060 --> 00:32:21,270 Sorry, buddy. 579 00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:23,100 There you go. 580 00:32:24,100 --> 00:32:26,206 That's a... all right, all right. 581 00:32:28,860 --> 00:32:30,336 - Oof. That's it. - Ew. 582 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:31,676 That's it. Good boy. You're all right. 583 00:32:31,700 --> 00:32:33,450 You're gonna be all right, boy. 584 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:36,910 Fucking hell. 585 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,936 Hey. You want some Turkey? 586 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:48,526 Well, first, you got to fuck me. 587 00:32:48,550 --> 00:32:51,010 Then I'll give you the Turkey. 588 00:32:55,970 --> 00:32:57,050 Oi. 589 00:32:58,510 --> 00:33:00,470 There he is. 590 00:33:01,310 --> 00:33:03,996 Oi. Hey, were you having a dream, were you? 591 00:33:04,020 --> 00:33:05,230 Was it a goody? 592 00:33:08,020 --> 00:33:09,166 How's he doing? 593 00:33:09,190 --> 00:33:11,030 Yeah, he's all right. 594 00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:17,070 Thank you for... Yeah. It's all good. 595 00:33:27,630 --> 00:33:29,226 Oi. 596 00:33:29,250 --> 00:33:30,380 Hughie. 597 00:33:33,130 --> 00:33:38,526 Listen... If we do find that v1, 598 00:33:38,550 --> 00:33:40,760 and if it don't fuck us... 599 00:33:42,270 --> 00:33:43,930 y-you can have some. 600 00:33:46,150 --> 00:33:49,706 For Annie and... kimiko. 601 00:33:49,730 --> 00:33:51,480 What about you? 602 00:33:53,860 --> 00:33:56,836 Oi, but as soon as frenchie's got that shite sorted, 603 00:33:56,860 --> 00:33:58,990 we're using it, all right? Ready or not. 604 00:34:04,750 --> 00:34:06,250 Ooh. 605 00:34:08,630 --> 00:34:10,130 Yeah. 606 00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:14,300 What you looking at? 607 00:34:16,090 --> 00:34:17,340 Nothing. 608 00:34:21,850 --> 00:34:25,930 And as for you, don't you ever fucking do that to me again, all right? 609 00:34:26,770 --> 00:34:28,666 Good boy. 610 00:34:28,690 --> 00:34:33,756 Now, I caught blondie trying to give your wank-plush the boil wash, 611 00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:35,916 but I know how you love the crunchy goods. 612 00:34:35,940 --> 00:34:39,490 Yes, I do. I know how you love those crunchy goods. Yeah. 613 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:56,686 You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely 614 00:34:56,710 --> 00:34:58,816 to generate widespread civil unrest? 615 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,906 Local law can handle the suburbs, but we could use 616 00:35:00,930 --> 00:35:02,116 extra hands in major metros. 617 00:35:02,140 --> 00:35:04,826 All right, we'll recall all the supes stationed overseas. 618 00:35:04,850 --> 00:35:07,786 American heroes should be protecting america, 619 00:35:07,810 --> 00:35:10,076 not who-gives-a-fuck is tan. 620 00:35:10,100 --> 00:35:11,996 Great idea. 621 00:35:23,030 --> 00:35:25,040 - Where to? - Crime analytics. 622 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,380 That was thrilling, wasn't it? 623 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,090 What a bright future we have ahead of us. 624 00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:39,630 It was a real guccione piss party. 625 00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:44,600 Imagine how much more exciting it'll be when homelander becomes immortal. 626 00:35:47,020 --> 00:35:49,350 Have you found the v1? 627 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:52,440 No. 628 00:35:53,190 --> 00:35:55,706 Homelander hasn't gotten anything out of Stan Edgar? 629 00:35:55,730 --> 00:35:58,900 No. But I haven't had a crack at him yet. 630 00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:12,596 Jesus, give me a little personal space, will you, garth? 631 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:17,526 Twenty-four-seven agents must be hard for someone so into scat play. 632 00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:19,066 You realize I do actually work? 633 00:36:19,090 --> 00:36:23,526 I was this close to convincing the fcc to pull every broadcast license but vnn. 634 00:36:23,550 --> 00:36:26,616 Homelander feels this is more important. 635 00:36:28,310 --> 00:36:30,286 What now? 636 00:36:30,310 --> 00:36:31,866 The president and I stand by this decision. 637 00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:33,996 We need our American supes here in america. 638 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:38,456 Well, isn't it kind of sort of your fault for being invaded? 639 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:40,586 You might as well have been wearing a short skirt. 640 00:36:40,610 --> 00:36:43,200 Man, those Ukrainians sure have a fucking mouth on them. 641 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,846 Remember, you're doing the lord's work. 642 00:36:46,870 --> 00:36:49,176 Word's out, vought's stock is tanking. 643 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,096 The international markets are in free fall, and you're not 644 00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:55,226 - the least bit concerned? - It's not about what I think. 645 00:36:55,250 --> 00:36:56,630 It's what the man wants. 646 00:36:58,130 --> 00:36:59,936 It's always what the man wants. 647 00:37:05,510 --> 00:37:07,156 You want a drink? 648 00:37:07,180 --> 00:37:09,446 So, we're at the climate change summit in reykjavík, 649 00:37:09,470 --> 00:37:12,866 when the Swiss chancellor says we should all race our gulfstreams. 650 00:37:12,890 --> 00:37:15,416 The amount of co2 we splooged out? 651 00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:19,900 The air was chewy the next day, lolz. 652 00:37:22,570 --> 00:37:25,006 Come on. What do you want from me, sage? 653 00:37:25,030 --> 00:37:26,886 What makes you think I want anything from you? 654 00:37:26,910 --> 00:37:29,846 You haven't called me the poster child for late-term abortion once today. 655 00:37:29,870 --> 00:37:32,160 Truth be told, you're not the one I want. 656 00:37:33,250 --> 00:37:35,766 I know you know what homelander's doing. 657 00:37:35,790 --> 00:37:38,566 - He's going after the v1. - Wait, what?! 658 00:37:38,590 --> 00:37:42,486 - And if he gets any... - he lives forever. -What is v1? 659 00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:45,106 And what do you mean homelander lives forever? 660 00:37:45,130 --> 00:37:47,616 I've done what I can to make sure he doesn't find any. 661 00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,986 How do you know about this and I don't? 662 00:37:50,010 --> 00:37:52,020 Have you two been talking without me? 663 00:37:53,100 --> 00:37:56,116 Homelander is an open baby book, but soldier boy is tricky. 664 00:37:56,140 --> 00:37:57,496 I need you to read his mind. 665 00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,626 What he knows, where they're headed next, 666 00:37:59,650 --> 00:38:03,610 and most importantly, if soldier boy is warming up to his sadistic rugrat. 667 00:38:05,110 --> 00:38:06,296 Okay. I'm in. 668 00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,176 The fuck you are. 669 00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:10,886 - We're not conspiring against homelander. - Hey. 670 00:38:10,910 --> 00:38:13,510 Don't forget the aung San suu kyi quote tramp stamped on our ass. 671 00:38:14,750 --> 00:38:16,266 "The only real prison is fear." 672 00:38:16,290 --> 00:38:18,936 - No, the only real prison is prison. - Ashley... 673 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,976 what do you think happens to you if I die? 674 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,486 I'm not about to risk my neck 675 00:38:23,510 --> 00:38:26,300 because I let an overgrown boil do my thinking for me. 676 00:38:27,380 --> 00:38:29,276 Okay, fine. Just stay. 677 00:38:29,300 --> 00:38:30,986 Why? So you can play more mind games? 678 00:38:31,010 --> 00:38:33,446 You gave me your answer. I heard you. 679 00:38:33,470 --> 00:38:36,326 Now, don't make me drink alone. 680 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:40,956 I'm starving. Are you starving? 681 00:38:40,980 --> 00:38:43,546 I'd kill for a chalupa right now. 682 00:38:43,570 --> 00:38:45,086 I'd kill for a big, juicy dick. 683 00:38:45,110 --> 00:38:46,466 Hey, we should call Gavin. 684 00:38:46,490 --> 00:38:49,256 His girth was amazing, and, man, the amount of spunk 685 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,506 he shot back here, we looked like pepé le pew. 686 00:38:51,530 --> 00:38:54,346 We are not Booty-calling my high school boyfriend. 687 00:38:54,370 --> 00:38:56,476 But he was so sweet. And mom loved him, remember? 688 00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:58,766 Yeah, well, mom's dead, so she doesn't get a say, 689 00:38:58,790 --> 00:39:00,976 - and neither do you. - What happened to her? 690 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:02,606 Cancer. 691 00:39:02,630 --> 00:39:04,356 My grandmother, too. 692 00:39:04,380 --> 00:39:07,470 What was she like? Your mother? 693 00:39:08,550 --> 00:39:11,340 Tiny. And terrifying. 694 00:39:12,140 --> 00:39:14,996 This one bitch, Harper Hewitt, used to make fun of my nose, 695 00:39:15,020 --> 00:39:18,076 so my mom tells Mr. Hewitt that Mrs. Hewitt 696 00:39:18,100 --> 00:39:21,456 has been railing the ups guy, which she was. 697 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,610 That was mom, bringing a nuke to a knife fight. 698 00:39:27,940 --> 00:39:29,676 So, they moved. 699 00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:31,490 And the rest of kindergarten was no sweat. 700 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:36,676 My folks shot me up with v, thinking I'd be a meal ticket. 701 00:39:36,700 --> 00:39:39,136 And then, my power turned out to be smarts. 702 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:40,806 Which is the worst fucking one. 703 00:39:40,830 --> 00:39:42,936 Try knowing what everyone really thinks of you all day. 704 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:44,016 Ooh, trust me. 705 00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:47,686 The thing people hate more than just about anything 706 00:39:47,710 --> 00:39:49,146 is feeling stupid. 707 00:39:49,170 --> 00:39:53,946 So, when a three-year-old corrects your grammar or, tells them 708 00:39:53,970 --> 00:39:57,076 their "life dream yogurt shop" is doomed to fail, 709 00:39:57,100 --> 00:39:58,996 they start to hate you, too. 710 00:39:59,020 --> 00:40:00,076 Least my parents did. 711 00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:02,020 So they dumped me at my grandma's. 712 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,586 But grandma, 713 00:40:04,610 --> 00:40:08,256 she was the only one who ever thought it was a gift. 714 00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:11,296 I would quote othello to her word for word, 715 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:16,790 and-and... she'd clap and laugh her big laugh. 716 00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:22,750 I'm still so pissed she is gone. 717 00:40:23,830 --> 00:40:26,646 I used to want to be like my mom. 718 00:40:26,670 --> 00:40:29,566 Strong. Pushy as fuck. 719 00:40:29,590 --> 00:40:31,446 Didn't take shit from anyone. 720 00:40:31,470 --> 00:40:33,050 You still can. 721 00:40:34,300 --> 00:40:35,720 If you help me. 722 00:40:38,270 --> 00:40:39,826 Fuck you. 723 00:40:39,850 --> 00:40:41,666 You knew about my mom the whole time. 724 00:40:41,690 --> 00:40:43,826 You drew it out of me just to soften me up. 725 00:40:43,850 --> 00:40:47,086 - Did it work? - No. This is my fucking problem with you. 726 00:40:47,110 --> 00:40:49,296 I know you've been working some big plan all year. 727 00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:53,136 How am I supposed to trust you if I'm just a pawn in your fucked-up chess game? 728 00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:54,530 All right. 729 00:40:55,530 --> 00:40:57,280 If I tell you, will you help me? 730 00:40:58,370 --> 00:41:00,176 I would heavily consider it. 731 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:04,346 Helping homelander take control of the country is phase one. 732 00:41:04,370 --> 00:41:07,106 It was only ever the beginning. Phase two is the end. 733 00:41:07,130 --> 00:41:09,250 - The end of what? - The world. 734 00:41:10,340 --> 00:41:12,896 After this supe-killing virus is released... 735 00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:15,680 - wait, you want it released? - You bet I do. 736 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:21,746 After supes realize humans are behind it, all hell will break loose. 737 00:41:21,770 --> 00:41:25,126 Supes butchering humans, virus butchering supes. 738 00:41:25,150 --> 00:41:28,126 - Fucking world war supe. - I don't believe you. 739 00:41:28,150 --> 00:41:30,086 Swear on my grandma's soul. 740 00:41:30,110 --> 00:41:32,126 Why would you possibly want that? 741 00:41:32,150 --> 00:41:36,336 'Cause I'll be watching from my cozy bunker outside Colorado Springs. 742 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:41,676 And when it's all over, I can read all day every day, 743 00:41:41,700 --> 00:41:44,386 no one bothering me. 744 00:41:44,410 --> 00:41:47,146 Nothing but peace and quiet forever. 745 00:41:49,630 --> 00:41:51,986 Which is why homelander can't survive. 746 00:41:52,010 --> 00:41:55,776 God, that needy asshole would never give me a moment's rest. 747 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:57,446 Yeah, defeats the whole purpose. 748 00:41:57,470 --> 00:42:01,060 Don't worry. You're invited to my bunker. 749 00:42:01,970 --> 00:42:03,600 You, too, Ashley. 750 00:42:06,140 --> 00:42:08,060 Fuck. 751 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:13,466 - Would you like some knee pads? - Sorry? What? 752 00:42:13,490 --> 00:42:16,200 You're looking at me like you want to suck my hog. 753 00:42:18,030 --> 00:42:20,530 So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads. 754 00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,016 Go easy on the little guy. 755 00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,386 - He brought me Stan Edgar. - Thank you, sir. 756 00:42:25,410 --> 00:42:27,266 You may leave. 757 00:42:38,010 --> 00:42:39,696 What crawled up your shithole? 758 00:42:39,720 --> 00:42:41,076 No idea what you mean. 759 00:42:41,100 --> 00:42:43,656 When you're pissy, 760 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,310 you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy, too. 761 00:42:46,980 --> 00:42:49,786 Stan Edgar still stonewalling you? 762 00:42:49,810 --> 00:42:51,376 I've talked to him three times now. 763 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:55,626 Says he has no idea where the v1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. 764 00:42:55,650 --> 00:42:57,006 I'm starting to believe him. 765 00:42:57,030 --> 00:42:59,860 That slippery fuck used to fetch my cocaine. 766 00:43:02,910 --> 00:43:05,540 You know what? I have an idea. 767 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:10,420 Why don't I take a crack at him? 768 00:43:11,580 --> 00:43:13,146 What, you don't trust me? 769 00:43:13,170 --> 00:43:17,196 Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material 770 00:43:17,220 --> 00:43:19,856 and, tried to stop me getting the v1, 771 00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:25,116 so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance. 772 00:43:25,140 --> 00:43:28,076 You could've killed me at fort Harmony, but you didn't. 773 00:43:28,100 --> 00:43:30,496 - Maybe I feel like I owe you. - Or maybe you're lying. 774 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:31,520 Maybe. 775 00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:38,740 Give me an hour. 776 00:43:39,610 --> 00:43:41,426 I'll meet you at Edgar's cell. 777 00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:56,500 My, my, how the mighty have fucked themselves square in the ass. 778 00:43:57,340 --> 00:43:58,896 Don't shit where you eat, Stan. 779 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:00,986 So, you've called in reinforcements. 780 00:44:01,010 --> 00:44:03,236 I wanted to see the prick that sold me out to the reds. 781 00:44:03,260 --> 00:44:05,696 It wasn't personal. It was a business decision. 782 00:44:05,720 --> 00:44:08,616 We had your replacement model on the way. 783 00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:12,850 Even as a toddler, homelander showed more promise than you ever did. 784 00:44:13,980 --> 00:44:16,296 Not that it amounted to much. 785 00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:19,966 When have you ever done anything 786 00:44:19,990 --> 00:44:23,046 remotely interesting or original? 787 00:44:23,070 --> 00:44:27,056 My power is absolute, Stan. 788 00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:30,136 At heights no one's even dreamed of. 789 00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:32,056 I'd call that pretty fucking original. 790 00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:33,766 Nothing that the lowest speck 791 00:44:33,790 --> 00:44:37,276 of this pointless species couldn't have thought of, 792 00:44:37,300 --> 00:44:40,396 were they to be granted your level of power. 793 00:44:40,420 --> 00:44:43,736 Why am I still alive? 794 00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,720 Because you're useful, Stan. 795 00:44:47,720 --> 00:44:50,366 - And I always wanted a pet. - Perhaps. 796 00:44:50,390 --> 00:44:53,706 Or is it because you are so desperate for daddy figures 797 00:44:53,730 --> 00:44:57,876 that you can't even bring yourself to kill the ones who hate you. 798 00:44:57,900 --> 00:45:01,280 At least that's something he and I have in common. 799 00:45:01,900 --> 00:45:03,910 Do you want to die, Stan? 800 00:45:09,370 --> 00:45:10,426 Jesus. 801 00:45:10,450 --> 00:45:12,960 You could get pregnant with all the eye-fucking. 802 00:45:14,420 --> 00:45:15,976 Tempe, Arizona. 803 00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,566 Is that supposed to mean something? 804 00:45:17,590 --> 00:45:19,816 Well, I had the eggheads in crime analytics 805 00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:24,856 track down your granddaughter, Zoe, and her dad. 806 00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:26,486 They're in tempe, Arizona. 807 00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:33,730 So... Where is the v1? 808 00:45:35,270 --> 00:45:38,690 As I told you, I genuinely don't know. 809 00:45:44,610 --> 00:45:48,966 But... I may know someone who does. 810 00:45:48,990 --> 00:45:51,870 You should go and see mister marathon in L.A. 811 00:45:52,950 --> 00:45:57,646 He's always had an intense interest in vought's history. 812 00:45:57,670 --> 00:46:00,816 It should be a delightful reunion. 813 00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:18,166 Homelander, it is really, really good to see you. 814 00:46:18,190 --> 00:46:20,796 Why... you know, what-what brings you by? 815 00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:23,336 - Relax. We're just here to talk. - Yeah, yeah, great, awesome. 816 00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:25,676 And soldier boy, wow. Big fan, sir. 817 00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:28,200 I actually, popped my cherry in your underoos. 818 00:46:28,870 --> 00:46:30,136 Nice. 819 00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:31,676 So you were part of the seven? 820 00:46:31,700 --> 00:46:34,766 I was, I was. You know, until this one replaced me with a-train. 821 00:46:34,790 --> 00:46:36,080 Check it out. Come on. 822 00:46:37,170 --> 00:46:38,976 Well, you're only the world's fastest man 823 00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:42,226 as long as you're the world's fastest man, champ, and you got slow. 824 00:46:42,250 --> 00:46:45,816 It was one race. You never gave me the chance to win it back, boss. 825 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:51,010 Hey, check this one out. 826 00:46:52,220 --> 00:46:53,576 Grossed 35 mil. 827 00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,116 On a $200 million budget. 828 00:46:55,140 --> 00:46:57,456 - These aren't even vought films. - What's the difference? 829 00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:00,376 These were made where washed-up supes go to die. 830 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,456 Sony pictures TV. 831 00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:03,586 It's a legit studio. 832 00:47:03,610 --> 00:47:06,046 And I save half on their tvs. 833 00:47:06,070 --> 00:47:08,126 And maybe we're not part of the official vcu, 834 00:47:08,150 --> 00:47:12,256 and maybe we can't mention vought or, you know, any licensed vought hero, 835 00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:15,426 but, hey, I'm still making magic. 836 00:47:15,450 --> 00:47:17,726 That and I, I sling a little bit on the side. 837 00:47:17,750 --> 00:47:19,436 Blow, pills, ozempic, whatever you need. 838 00:47:19,460 --> 00:47:21,476 Fastest dealer in town. 839 00:47:21,500 --> 00:47:23,780 All right, come on. The gang will be psyched to meet you. 840 00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:31,236 Did you guys hear? They rounded up Aziz, macaulay, 841 00:47:31,260 --> 00:47:35,406 - Joaquin, kiefer, meryl. - I also heard they got Benedict. 842 00:47:35,430 --> 00:47:36,536 - Wong or cumberbatch? - Both. 843 00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:38,996 - Fuck! - I know. Dude, what the fuck, malchemical? 844 00:47:39,020 --> 00:47:40,286 Get your boys in check? 845 00:47:40,310 --> 00:47:43,126 Just 'cause I'm a supe doesn't mean I truck in that fascist shit. 846 00:47:43,150 --> 00:47:45,506 - We need to do something. - Why? 847 00:47:45,530 --> 00:47:46,836 'Cause we're storytellers, dude. 848 00:47:46,860 --> 00:47:48,296 - Yeah. - Our superpower 849 00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:50,086 is we inspire hearts and minds. 850 00:47:50,110 --> 00:47:51,546 Look at the characters we create: 851 00:47:51,570 --> 00:47:54,386 - Luke Skywalker, Katniss, Gandhi. - Bitch please. 852 00:47:54,410 --> 00:47:57,926 Come on, like Mark Hamill, j-law, and sir Ben Kingsley 853 00:47:57,950 --> 00:48:00,646 do anything but collect their fucking residuals. 854 00:48:00,670 --> 00:48:03,056 - They're very engaged. - Look, here's what we do. 855 00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:06,646 We all post about this simultaneously on Instagram. 856 00:48:06,670 --> 00:48:08,776 - Yes. - Black squares on the main feed. 857 00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,446 - Black lives matter did black squares. - Fuck. You're right. 858 00:48:11,470 --> 00:48:13,526 We do blue squares on the grid. 859 00:48:13,550 --> 00:48:15,197 'Cause blue lives matter. That's totally different. 860 00:48:15,221 --> 00:48:15,946 I wouldn't post that. 861 00:48:15,970 --> 00:48:19,036 Is there any color that hasn't been taken by some fucking group? 862 00:48:19,060 --> 00:48:21,036 - What about white? - Well... 863 00:48:21,060 --> 00:48:24,956 Ooh, ooh, I'll get Lena Dunham to write an editorial for the Atlantic. 864 00:48:24,980 --> 00:48:26,213 - Yeah. - It's like, that'll really rate. 865 00:48:26,237 --> 00:48:26,666 She's great. 866 00:48:26,690 --> 00:48:28,206 - That has great readership. - She's a great writer. 867 00:48:28,230 --> 00:48:29,546 - She's a very persuasive... - universally beloved. 868 00:48:29,570 --> 00:48:30,796 Whatever, fuck sticks. 869 00:48:30,820 --> 00:48:33,926 Look, best day of my life was when they executed hader. 870 00:48:33,950 --> 00:48:36,636 Right? More offer-onlys for the forte. 871 00:48:36,660 --> 00:48:38,466 Hey, do we think Michael cera's a star lighter? 872 00:48:38,490 --> 00:48:39,926 'Cause we're up for the same part right now, 873 00:48:39,950 --> 00:48:41,516 and it'd be pretty good if he got vanished. 874 00:48:41,540 --> 00:48:43,726 We've been friends with him for 20 years, Chris. 875 00:48:43,750 --> 00:48:46,380 - Yeah, but I really need this part, man. - No. No. 876 00:48:47,590 --> 00:48:49,316 - 'Sup? - Homelander. 877 00:48:49,340 --> 00:48:50,946 Soldier boy. Wow. 878 00:48:50,970 --> 00:48:54,680 I'm will. Remember me? I'm the one who turned in Channing Tatum. 879 00:48:57,510 --> 00:49:00,576 Seth Rogen. We actually met once before, with black noir 880 00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,230 at the premiere for silent vengeance 3: Vengeance reloaded. 881 00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:08,496 Big fan. I'm actually, testifying in front of congress for you, you know, 882 00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:09,956 outing suspected starlighters. 883 00:49:09,980 --> 00:49:12,360 Post Malone. 884 00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,086 You need to get the fuck away from me right now. 885 00:49:15,110 --> 00:49:16,620 - You bet, yeah. - Yeah. 886 00:49:17,620 --> 00:49:19,386 We came here looking for something. 887 00:49:19,410 --> 00:49:21,386 What do you know about v1? 888 00:49:23,670 --> 00:49:25,726 You've come to the right place. 889 00:49:33,380 --> 00:49:35,050 Here you go. 890 00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:40,930 Yeah, vought yanked that one from newsstands after Kent state. 891 00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:43,810 Good times. 892 00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:46,826 - How'd you end up with it? - Some old bitch on eBay. 893 00:49:46,850 --> 00:49:51,280 I paid 20 bucks. I mean, it'd go for half a mil at auction easy. 894 00:49:59,450 --> 00:50:02,806 Yeah, Dr. Vought was a, was a titan, a visionary. 895 00:50:02,830 --> 00:50:06,120 He was a pansy with a German accent and sweaty palms. 896 00:50:06,710 --> 00:50:08,856 He was a complicated guy. 897 00:50:16,180 --> 00:50:19,930 Do you or do you not have v1? 898 00:50:21,260 --> 00:50:23,156 I-I don't. 899 00:50:23,180 --> 00:50:24,656 But bomb sight does. 900 00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:26,076 He does. 901 00:50:26,100 --> 00:50:28,496 - That piece of shit's still alive? - Yeah. 902 00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:30,376 Yeah, he was my best customer for a long time. 903 00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:31,666 What makes you think he has it? 904 00:50:31,690 --> 00:50:33,836 One night, he was tweaked out of his gourd, 905 00:50:33,860 --> 00:50:35,086 and he told me he had some, 906 00:50:35,110 --> 00:50:36,336 - and I believe him. - Where is he? 907 00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:37,426 Me and bomb sight are still cool. 908 00:50:37,450 --> 00:50:40,216 Wh-why don't we all just hang out for a sec, and i-I'll call him. 909 00:50:40,240 --> 00:50:42,240 He'll-he'll fly right over. 910 00:50:49,420 --> 00:50:51,686 I scooped this up from Bogotá while you were taking a piss. 911 00:50:51,710 --> 00:50:55,986 I mean, for the soldier boy, nothing but the best. 912 00:51:00,050 --> 00:51:01,260 Seth? 913 00:51:02,350 --> 00:51:04,366 No, I actually hate weed. 914 00:51:04,390 --> 00:51:07,770 I just pretend to like it for my brand, so I can sell ashtrays to suckers. 915 00:51:09,770 --> 00:51:12,166 Yo, homelander. 916 00:51:12,190 --> 00:51:15,466 You want to hit this? 917 00:51:15,490 --> 00:51:18,006 It is my life goal to smoke you out, homie. 918 00:51:20,820 --> 00:51:22,160 Don't call me that. 919 00:51:23,700 --> 00:51:25,056 Homelander. 920 00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:26,870 It's good to see you again. 921 00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:31,436 - Do I know you? - Yeah. 922 00:51:31,460 --> 00:51:34,566 We met, like, six times. Malchemical. 923 00:51:34,590 --> 00:51:36,186 Make deadly gasses. 924 00:51:36,210 --> 00:51:38,300 Did that whole campaign with gas-x. 925 00:51:41,470 --> 00:51:43,446 That's embarrassing. 926 00:51:43,470 --> 00:51:46,536 Homelander still as weird as he was when I was there? 927 00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:50,036 Well, I wasn't there back then, but yes. 928 00:51:50,060 --> 00:51:52,336 So, get this. One time, at les deux, 929 00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:54,336 Mischa bar ton wanted to suck him off, right? 930 00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:55,956 He spent two hours talking to her 931 00:51:55,980 --> 00:51:58,256 about Nietzsche, then left when she stepped on his cape. 932 00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:00,506 That fucking cape. 933 00:52:00,530 --> 00:52:02,136 Like a baby with a blanket. 934 00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:05,596 Pretty sure he jerks off into it. Probably why it's so stiff. 935 00:52:05,620 --> 00:52:07,016 Say that again. 936 00:52:10,330 --> 00:52:12,210 Can't you take a fucking joke? 937 00:52:15,090 --> 00:52:16,210 Say it again. 938 00:52:18,550 --> 00:52:19,696 Thought as much. 939 00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:21,656 If bombsight's not coming, I'm leaving. 940 00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:23,640 No, he's on his way, be here any minute. I swear. 941 00:52:27,390 --> 00:52:28,446 Nah, I'm done. 942 00:52:31,390 --> 00:52:33,560 - Shit. - By the way... hey! 943 00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:35,626 I heard you all. 944 00:52:35,650 --> 00:52:37,376 And I want you all to know 945 00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:39,916 that very soon, gentlemen, you are going to pay 946 00:52:39,940 --> 00:52:43,256 for your sick posts and your hateful memes. 947 00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:45,240 Especially the memes. 948 00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:49,346 What, no, no, no, no. 949 00:52:49,370 --> 00:52:51,016 - I-It was kumail and Seth's idea. - What?! 950 00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:52,596 - Fuck you, forte! That... - I-I was against it. I was against it. 951 00:52:52,620 --> 00:52:54,726 It was, it was fucking his idea, man! 952 00:52:54,750 --> 00:52:56,816 He is just sucking your dick so you can help his shitty fucking career. 953 00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:58,146 Take them, okay? 954 00:52:58,170 --> 00:52:59,606 Shit, i-I'll take 'em out for you right now. 955 00:52:59,630 --> 00:53:01,146 Really, yeah? You want to take me, bitch? 956 00:53:01,170 --> 00:53:03,066 - I'm fucking yoked now. - Shut up, forte. -Really? Okay... 957 00:53:03,090 --> 00:53:04,906 - forte, you're making this worse... - I'm not! 958 00:53:04,930 --> 00:53:06,576 Everybody, stop! 959 00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:08,736 We really should round up Michael cera. 960 00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:12,246 Homelander. 961 00:53:12,270 --> 00:53:14,150 - S-Sorry. Quick question. - What? 962 00:53:15,060 --> 00:53:16,956 For fuck's sakes. 963 00:53:22,150 --> 00:53:24,086 - Ooh! - Who's memorable now? 964 00:53:24,110 --> 00:53:26,136 - What the fuck? - Easy. Easy. Easy. 965 00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:29,216 - Can we fuck off, please?! - Chill out, macgruber. Everything's cool. 966 00:53:29,240 --> 00:53:30,926 Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you, honest, 967 00:53:30,950 --> 00:53:33,226 but-but-but-but fuck this fucking guy. 968 00:53:33,250 --> 00:53:34,766 You know, he fucked my life. 969 00:53:34,790 --> 00:53:38,396 Look, I-If you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you, 970 00:53:38,420 --> 00:53:39,976 you can have the seven. 971 00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,526 And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever. 972 00:53:42,550 --> 00:53:44,066 I don't need to kill him to get the seven. 973 00:53:44,090 --> 00:53:45,276 No, yeah, of course not, 974 00:53:45,300 --> 00:53:47,326 but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? 975 00:53:47,350 --> 00:53:49,696 I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool, 976 00:53:49,720 --> 00:53:51,616 all the hookers, the drug dealers. 977 00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:53,076 They want to ban porn. 978 00:53:53,100 --> 00:53:54,898 I mean, they want to ban fucking abortions. 979 00:53:54,922 --> 00:53:55,246 Yeah. 980 00:53:55,270 --> 00:53:58,536 Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally. 981 00:53:58,560 --> 00:53:59,746 Exactly, for all of us. 982 00:53:59,770 --> 00:54:02,966 S-So, if we kill him, w-we can stop worrying about being 983 00:54:02,990 --> 00:54:06,386 cops or-or-or gods or-or asexual weirdos. 984 00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:09,926 You know, we can go back to fucking and-and being fucking awesome. 985 00:54:09,950 --> 00:54:13,056 Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. 986 00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:14,976 I mean, I was at herogasm. I saw it. 987 00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:16,266 Just finish him now. 988 00:54:16,290 --> 00:54:18,766 Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him 989 00:54:18,790 --> 00:54:20,016 while we have the chance. 990 00:54:27,260 --> 00:54:29,576 He is a fucking asexual weirdo. 991 00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:30,890 - Yeah. - Yeah. 992 00:54:31,970 --> 00:54:34,956 But as much as it pains me to say this, 993 00:54:34,980 --> 00:54:37,980 he's my fucking asexual weirdo. 994 00:54:40,980 --> 00:54:44,070 - Nobody fucks my son but me. - What? 995 00:54:44,900 --> 00:54:46,626 That came out wrong. 996 00:54:57,790 --> 00:54:58,960 - Whoa! - Fuck! 997 00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:06,260 What the fuck?! 998 00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:10,116 Danny trejo need to stick to acting. 999 00:55:10,140 --> 00:55:12,366 Them tacos fucked my shit up. 1000 00:55:12,390 --> 00:55:13,640 Soldier boy. 1001 00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:19,076 911. What's your emergency? 1002 00:55:19,100 --> 00:55:20,626 Yeah, please send police right now. We're gonna die. 1003 00:55:20,650 --> 00:55:22,496 - Okay. What is the address? - I don't know the address. 1004 00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:24,126 - Do you know the address? - I don't know the address. 1005 00:55:24,150 --> 00:55:26,299 Fuck. Fuck. Don't kill... please don't kill us. 1006 00:55:26,323 --> 00:55:27,166 Shut up. Shut up. 1007 00:55:27,190 --> 00:55:28,716 I'm not gonna kill you. 1008 00:55:28,740 --> 00:55:32,830 I'm gonna get you out of here, but you need to do exactly as I say. 1009 00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:39,226 Go. Go. 1010 00:55:43,670 --> 00:55:44,670 Fuck! 1011 00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,640 No! No! 1012 00:56:02,980 --> 00:56:04,480 What'd you do to me, man? 1013 00:56:05,070 --> 00:56:06,916 Seth. 1014 00:56:06,940 --> 00:56:08,716 Fuck. Hey, hey. 1015 00:56:08,740 --> 00:56:10,836 - Hey, hey, hey. - Is-is it bad? 1016 00:56:10,860 --> 00:56:13,846 Well... I-I didn't mean to. 1017 00:56:13,870 --> 00:56:15,596 I don't want to die, man. 1018 00:56:15,620 --> 00:56:16,966 It's gonna be okay. 1019 00:56:16,990 --> 00:56:18,596 I'll remember you 1020 00:56:18,620 --> 00:56:22,016 - every time I watch an American pickle. - What? 1021 00:57:04,330 --> 00:57:05,516 Fuck! 1022 00:57:05,540 --> 00:57:06,780 Does bomb sight really have it? 1023 00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:11,146 Fuck you! I'm gonna rip your balls off and stuff 'em down your throat. 1024 00:57:11,170 --> 00:57:13,930 That'd be like trying to shove two grapefruits through a garden hose. 1025 00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:17,100 Does bomb sight have the v1?! 1026 00:57:19,180 --> 00:57:20,996 God! 1027 00:57:21,020 --> 00:57:22,916 Yes, yes! Okay, yes! That part was true. 1028 00:57:22,940 --> 00:57:24,666 I swear to fucking god, man. 1029 00:57:24,690 --> 00:57:26,086 - He's got it. - Where is he? 1030 00:57:26,110 --> 00:57:27,246 - I don't know. - Where the fuck is he?! 1031 00:57:27,270 --> 00:57:29,626 I don't know. I haven't talked to him in, like, five years, I swear, man. 1032 00:57:29,650 --> 00:57:31,320 I swear to god. Please. 1033 00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:45,396 What happened? 1034 00:57:45,420 --> 00:57:46,920 I took care of it. 1035 00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:51,090 Why? 1036 00:57:52,460 --> 00:57:54,986 Because fuck them. 1037 00:57:55,010 --> 00:57:56,180 That's why. 1038 00:57:57,510 --> 00:57:59,736 I don't think this micro-prick was lying. 1039 00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:02,640 Bombsight has the v1. We just got to find him. 1040 00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:06,206 Also... 1041 00:58:08,230 --> 00:58:09,820 I've been fucking firecracker. 1042 00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:16,820 But out of respect for you, that's... that's done. 1043 00:58:18,740 --> 00:58:22,830 Plus, her pillow talk was getting to be a real drag. 1044 00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:25,540 Pillow talk? 1045 00:58:55,900 --> 00:58:57,070 Homelander. 1046 00:59:00,410 --> 00:59:01,580 How was L.A.? 1047 00:59:03,950 --> 00:59:06,096 Did you catch tonight's truth bomb? 1048 00:59:06,120 --> 00:59:07,436 I did indeed. 1049 00:59:07,460 --> 00:59:09,896 And it was a real barnburner. 1050 00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:11,686 - Well done. - Thank you, sir. 1051 00:59:11,710 --> 00:59:13,090 That means the world. 1052 00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:16,356 How's sex with my father? 1053 00:59:19,220 --> 00:59:20,720 Is he good at it? 1054 00:59:21,300 --> 00:59:24,196 Are you thinking about me 1055 00:59:24,220 --> 00:59:27,020 when you're making love to him? 1056 00:59:28,190 --> 00:59:30,496 I never meant to cross a line 1057 00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:32,706 - or offend you in... - no. No, no, no, no. 1058 00:59:32,730 --> 00:59:34,166 Don't fret, little one. 1059 00:59:34,190 --> 00:59:36,570 I don't care about the sex, really. 1060 00:59:38,070 --> 00:59:40,530 But I do care about your little chats after sex. 1061 00:59:41,450 --> 00:59:44,056 Sir, whatever soldier boy told you, I can assure you that I... 1062 00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:49,580 you mean, your inner turmoil when it comes to me and... 1063 00:59:50,540 --> 00:59:53,106 Jesus? 1064 00:59:53,130 --> 00:59:56,936 Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me? 1065 00:59:56,960 --> 01:00:00,406 No, you are my one and only savior. 1066 01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:04,930 You s-say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. 1067 01:00:09,180 --> 01:00:11,956 You're supposed to worship me. 1068 01:00:11,980 --> 01:00:13,456 Love me. 1069 01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:15,336 And me alone. 1070 01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:17,546 - I do. - I believed in you. 1071 01:00:17,570 --> 01:00:19,280 Turns out... 1072 01:00:20,900 --> 01:00:22,200 you don't believe in me. 1073 01:00:25,530 --> 01:00:27,240 I need you to collect your things... 1074 01:00:28,620 --> 01:00:30,210 and leave. 1075 01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:33,896 But I do believe in you. 1076 01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:35,726 I love you. 1077 01:00:35,750 --> 01:00:39,026 I am the only one here who ever has! 1078 01:00:39,050 --> 01:00:41,236 I gave you everything. 1079 01:00:41,260 --> 01:00:43,066 I gave you my soul. 1080 01:00:43,090 --> 01:00:45,776 Everybody else here, they're just... 1081 01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,946 They're just scared of you. 1082 01:00:47,970 --> 01:00:53,876 Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. 1083 01:00:53,900 --> 01:01:00,416 Just the strongest, smartest, best man on earth. 1084 01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:02,296 Man? 1085 01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:04,256 No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. 1086 01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:06,830 No, the god. 1087 01:01:07,660 --> 01:01:11,370 My lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? 1088 01:01:12,410 --> 01:01:15,266 I felt like mother Mary herself. 1089 01:01:15,290 --> 01:01:20,186 I felt blessed to nourish someone as... 1090 01:01:20,210 --> 01:01:22,260 Important as you. 1091 01:01:26,180 --> 01:01:28,640 But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? 1092 01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:31,930 You cast me out into the cold. 1093 01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:37,166 Which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. 1094 01:01:37,190 --> 01:01:39,916 So all I have been trying to do 1095 01:01:39,940 --> 01:01:42,990 is to get you to see me the way that you used to. 1096 01:01:44,110 --> 01:01:48,740 Hell, only reason I was with soldier boy was because your reflected light... 1097 01:01:50,660 --> 01:01:52,500 is better than no light at all. 1098 01:01:53,210 --> 01:01:54,710 Please, sir. 1099 01:01:56,630 --> 01:01:57,960 I love you. 1100 01:01:58,540 --> 01:02:00,460 We all need love, don't we? 1101 01:02:03,170 --> 01:02:04,340 Even god.